Anger Management: Ten Tips to Control Your Temper

 Do you get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rise when your child refuses to help? Anger is a normal, even healthy emotion, but it's important to deal with it positively. Uncontrolled anger can damage your health and your relationships.

Ready to control your anger? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

1. Think before you speak.

 When you're angry, it's easier to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to gather your thoughts before you say anything. This also allows other people involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Once you have calmed down, express your discomfort.

 As soon as you're able to think clearly, express your frustration assertively, but without confrontation. Discuss your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise.

 Physical activity can help reduce the stress that can cause anger. If you feel anger rising, go for a brisk walk or run. Or do some physical activity you enjoy for a while.

4. Take a break.

 Recess isn't just for kids. Take small breaks throughout the day at times that are usually stressful. Taking a quiet moment can help you feel better prepared to face whatever comes next without feeling irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions.

 Instead of focusing on what angered you, work on solving the problem at hand. Does your child's room become untidy? Lock the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals for later in the evening. Or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Also, realize that some things are simply out of your control. Try to be realistic about what you can and can't change. Remember that anger doesn't solve anything and might only make things worse.

6. Use first-person statements.

 Criticizing or assigning blame may only increase the tension. Instead, use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do the chores."

7. Don't hold a grudge.

 Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to replace positive ones, you may find that your own bitterness or sense of injustice overwhelms you. Forgiving someone who made you angry can help you learn from the situation and strengthen the relationship.

8. Use humor to release tension.

 Lightening the mood can help ease tension. Use humor to help you deal with whatever is making you angry and, if possible, any unrealistic expectations you may have about how things should turn out. Avoid sarcasm, as it can hurt feelings and complicate things.

9. Practice your relaxation skills.

 When you feel angry, put your relaxation skills to work. Do deep breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, write in a journal, or do some yoga poses—whatever motivates you to relax.

10. Know when to seek help.

 Learning to control anger can be difficult at times. If your anger seems out of control, forces you to do things you regret, or hurts those around you, seek help.